Questallia

When we think of our brain, we never visualize it like two completely separated hemispheres, bound together only by the Corpus Callosum, each hemisphere having different functions and even its distinct personality. For most of us, the brain is just the thinking organ.

Doctor in neuroanatomy Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: one morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. She describes her experience, her feelings, her thoughts, her actions, in a very plastic and touching manner. Although it took her 8 years to completely recover from the stroke, the experience was priceless, as she discovered Nirvana, she discovered the real peace of mind, and now she knows that love and understanding can be the choice of each human, if we only wanted to. She thinks this message is worth spreading, and this is the purpose of my post here: get Jill’s words out there, so more people see that world could be looking different, if only we chose that.

When you say “I have lots of friends” or “I have a lot of connections”, did it ever occur to you what is the reason you have so many connections? Why do those people keep contact with you?

I wanted to find out and I did an experiment: for two months, I did not call anybody (except my family, as they would not understand such experiments) and I waited to see how many of them would call me, just to see how I am, just to say “hello, I wanted to hear your voice”. During the experiment, I was not employed and I did not start any major project that may have attracted people to participate.

With nothing to offer and hidden in my house, I had a very big surprise: during the two months, only two persons called me to see how I am. Two!

When I used to work as marketing manager for a big company, I received such phone calls every day, from many people, just wondering “how are you, my dear?”, but in reality chasing my willingness to give them some projects to work.

When I used to take initiative and call people, they would respond gladly, the connection would be maintained. When I took no initiative, then I found out that very few people care about the others. Sometimes, even what seemed to be a 10 years friendship faded away facing my decision of not keeping those contacts anymore. When I remember the times when my friends and I were shopping for Born shoes and Coach bags in Vienna, this makes me sad a little bit, you know?

Here I am, worth three phone calls, and wiser: if you want connections, then keep them, don’t wait for people to call you, because they won’t and don’t make yourself any illusions they care for you. They don’t really care for anybody, life is rushing them too fast, so they don’t have the time to stop and think of people they like. Usually, they stop only to think of people they need. I don’t think this is good or bad, it’s just the way it is.

Then I put is the other way around: how many people do I call without wanting something, just to check they are OK? The answer is five. In this difference of three people between the called and the callers resides the disappointment.

So, how many phone calls are YOU worth?

A real Smile is one of the most effective means to capture the trust, attention, and rapport of an audience. It is an essential part selling when meeting people. It has added benefits as a stress reducer. This is true if speaking to an audience of one or one thousand.

You can reap these benefits if you know what a real smile is and learn how to create one.

In basic training, a salesman is taught to master smiling and have it end just as eye contact is made with the clientele. The reason is that it makes you look like a decent person. Additionally it puts the person being greeted at ease.

Let’s Get Real

Actually there are a total of 47 different individual facial expressions. The most commonly seen are smiling and winking. There is such a thing as a real smile.

Among the expressions, a less known but often observed are such expressions as the eyebrow wink.

As to smiling, it is even felt that babies have the ability to make this facial expression. This is based on 3-D scans of babies in the womb. It is interesting that most babies don’t have this ability after delivery until they are about 6 weeks old. Maybe it says something about how much pressure life puts on the new entrants into the human race.

So, what is a real smile?

Smiling is a facial expression created by the contraction of muscles near the ends of the mouth and can include or extend into the muscles near the eyes.

Most often it is an expression of delight, pleasure, happiness or love. For some it is an involuntary expression of anxiety as laughter can be some times. Smiling can be found in all cultures and can even be seen in children born blind from birth. It is a human attribute.

Smiling as a Stress Reducer

Here is the good news. Not only can it put others at ease, it can also do the same for you. By smiling our brains produce endorphins which are like drugs inside our body that help with physical and emotional pain and stress. They can even help produce a feeling of well-being and composure.

But, this only works if you have a real smile.

Real vs. Fake

So what is a real smile?

As stated at the outset, it requires the use of the muscles starting at the ends of the mouth and that extend to the eyes. The so called real smile actually has a name. It is called the “Duchenne Smile.” It is named after the French neurologist Guillaume Duchenne. If you’re a Doctor or Nurse you know his name from a Muscular Dystrophy he also discovered.

This is not a new science. His studies started in this field in the 1840’s.

It is a production of the autonomic nervous system. In other words, it is something that just happens involuntarily. So it is said the smile is real if it reaches the eyes.

A fake or voluntary smile used to show politeness or to feign smiling involves just the muscles of the mouth and not those extending to the eyes.

It is also known in literature as the “Pan American Smile” and the “Professional Smile”

How to really smile.

How can someone learn to produce a real smile at will?

Since it is an involuntary response, it is impossible to recreate it. However, it is possible to create a memory that will result in the feeling that will result in a real smile.

What was the happiest time in your life? What was one of the most pleasurable moments you ever experienced? If you’re thinking of that special moment at this time, you’re smiling a real smile. Why? That memory of that pleasurable moment is bringing it on.

Remember that feeling.

Now to perfect this technique, practice doing it. Walk into the break room or a group of people you associate with and just moments prior to your meeting, create a flash of that pleasurable moment in your memory. Watch as they read your body language and comment or query you.

The memories can be replayed from this morning or 30 or more years ago.

Learn to do that and you will learn the art of really smiling.
Learn to master the skill and you will find other things that will bring it on.

This is really quite a wonderful thing when you think of it. You will start your presentation with a pleasurable thought. You will end up with a smile that will put your audience at ease. You will release endorphins that help emotional stress which will help with performance.

It is a win-win-win situation.

So keep smiling, it is not only good for your health, it is good for your wealth.

And if you are depressed of too many extra pounds gained while eating with your new friends, remember that a grapefruit diet or any other weight loos method needs to be approved by your physician before you start it, so don’t buy into all sites claiming you can lose 10 pounds in 3 days and never gain them back. This is too good to be true, and it probably would trouble your metabolism.

Jonathan Steele is a Registered Nurse, Artist (Painter, Sculptor, and Photographer) and host of a public speaking site that helps visitors master public speaking skills. His expertise includes memory enhancement and stress reduction through diet, simple mental and physical exercises.

http://www.speechmastery.com/stress-reducers.html

Some sports would do good for your mind and body, so make sure you grab some fancy hot kicks and get the ball rolling.