Questallia

When you say “I have lots of friends” or “I have a lot of connections”, did it ever occur to you what is the reason you have so many connections? Why do those people keep contact with you?

I wanted to find out and I did an experiment: for two months, I did not call anybody (except my family, as they would not understand such experiments) and I waited to see how many of them would call me, just to see how I am, just to say “hello, I wanted to hear your voice”. During the experiment, I was not employed and I did not start any major project that may have attracted people to participate.

With nothing to offer and hidden in my house, I had a very big surprise: during the two months, only two persons called me to see how I am. Two!

When I used to work as marketing manager for a big company, I received such phone calls every day, from many people, just wondering “how are you, my dear?”, but in reality chasing my willingness to give them some projects to work.

When I used to take initiative and call people, they would respond gladly, the connection would be maintained. When I took no initiative, then I found out that very few people care about the others. Sometimes, even what seemed to be a 10 years friendship faded away facing my decision of not keeping those contacts anymore. When I remember the times when my friends and I were shopping for Born shoes and Coach bags in Vienna, this makes me sad a little bit, you know?

Here I am, worth three phone calls, and wiser: if you want connections, then keep them, don’t wait for people to call you, because they won’t and don’t make yourself any illusions they care for you. They don’t really care for anybody, life is rushing them too fast, so they don’t have the time to stop and think of people they like. Usually, they stop only to think of people they need. I don’t think this is good or bad, it’s just the way it is.

Then I put is the other way around: how many people do I call without wanting something, just to check they are OK? The answer is five. In this difference of three people between the called and the callers resides the disappointment.

So, how many phone calls are YOU worth?

You have the ability to radiate and revitalize your love
vibe to attract more desirable experiences. When you feel
loving, you will attract more love. Feeling good about
yourself, attracts others to you.

About the Author: Amirah, Intuitive Coach, Author, Speaker works with individuals who want to make positive life changes and
experience a deeper connection to self. Author of eBook, GET
Better LOVE and MORE of IT! Get a Free monthly newsletter at
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Email her at Amirah@soulmystic.com

Do you remember the days before Internet, when we used to play bridge with the computer? Although the game was OK, the bids made sense, many times we felt like something was missing there. It was the lack of human touch, the gut feeling that makes you disobey a rule from time to time, the small mistakes that give flavour to our actions. When Internet was here, such games like bridge were available online, with real partners. It felt so great!

I read a post today, on Problogger, in which Darren Rowse brings into attention the power of the virtual space, which makes possible things such as successful associations or close friendships between people who never met in real life. He challenges the readers to name the five bloggers they would like to meet in real life. I see this invitation as an opportunity for me to thank a few people who changed the course of my life, although I never met them in person. Here is my list of bloggers I would love to have a chat with:

Later update: I was way ahead the times with this enterprise. Nobody saw the need to have a corporate blog in 2006 in Romania. Today, in mid-2008, even the country’s president has a blog!

I have a special mention here: many thanks to Steve Pavlina for his outstanding work. Actually his blog determined me two months ago to shift the direction of my personal business, from training and consultancy in real life, to blogging full time, with a strange certitude that I’ll reach some profit before all my savings were gone for good on the deep blogging waters. When I came across his blog, I spent about one week staring at his words and realizing that this is what I want to do from now on, at least for a while.
Yet, I would not want to meet him in person, because I have the strange feeling that he writes for a million people audience and not for one person at a time. I’m not saying this is bad, but it just happens that I’m not very fond of crowds.

If I’ll ever meet one of the persons on this list, I’ll remember once more that everything is possible. All we have to do is grab the opportunities as they pass by.

Other articles:
How many phone calls are you worth?
Give me something to do
Forgiveness Day: one small step to a better planet